3 Things a Therapist Wants You to Know About Loving Yourself
Self-love is an ever important part of human connection, yet it’s something that most people struggle with from time to time.
Self-love includes acceptance, nurturing, and compassion. All these things we often give out to others, we can also give inward to ourself. Self-love can allow us to grow as people in the best way possible. It allows natural growth out of our strengths, rather than forced growth (that is often born out of feeling shame).
As a therapist, self-love comes up a lot in the room with my clients. It impacts self-esteem and our relationship with ourselves, and it impacts our relationships with other people.
Take a look at the 3 tips below and let me know what this means to you on your self love journey!
Self-love allows you to have fulfilling connections with others. It allows you to be present with others. Think: if you are busy beating yourself up in your head, or criticizing every work that comes out of your mouth, you aren’t really being present with those around you. You aren’t connecting with the depth of their minds and their words. In order to be truly present you have to be able to calm your own self-consciousness and allow yourself to focus on others.
Self-love isn’t a one-and-done deal. It is something that will come up in different ways throughout your lifetime. It will often appear in moments of change, or in moments of silence. It can lead to questions like “who am I”, “what do I want form life”, or “ why did I behave in that way”? These questions are good, and they can be healthy when they are limited and constructive. These questions can also be damaging if allowed to run unchecked through your mind all day.
Self-love also includes accountability. You can love yourself without conditions while still holding yourself accountable to your actions. Being able to reflect accurately and fully on your actions is in important piece in truly loving yourself. You can love yourself while also wanting to improve a behavior or thought pattern.
I love supporting people in learning to love themselves. The look on someone’s face when you see that spark, the moment when you see them soften toward themself and release the self-judgement, is really magical. Can you use these tips to improve how you relate to yourself this week?